How to build the ultimate zombie apocalypse survival crew using only TV characters from the 1980s

It became clear that I'd found in Josh a true bosom buddy when this topic came up during one of our weekly Walking Dead get-togethers.

(Editor's note: I'm not sorry for the BuzzFeed-esque title. Clickbait works.)

This would be a fun exercise using all sorts of variables. Like, let's say you could only choose from U.S. presidents. Or family members. Or friends from high school you don't talk to anymore. Professional wrestlers from the 1970s. See? The applications are endless.

We went with TV characters from the 1980s. This is my list.

But first, the rules:

• Select only eight survivors. Why eight? Because these are my rules, and it seemed reasonable. Carry on.

• They must be from a fictional show, set on planet earth, that aired in the 1980s. No spaceships and laser guns.

• You can't choose two characters from the same show.

• No cartoon characters. (Otherwise you just pick Lion-O, He-Man, Flint from GI Joe and you're done.)

• The character brings with them their skills, equipment and temperament.

• No supernatural powers or super powers allowed. Why? Because of Sam Beckett, who'd just jump back in time and stop the apocalypse before it happens. See also, Hanley, Ralph (formerly "Hinkley," which was changed for obvious reasons.), a.k.a., the Greatest American Hero.

• You must designate a leader of the group and his or her second-in-command. There's enough anarchy going around in the zombie apocalypse. Someone has to set the rule of law.

My team:

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Claire Huxtable (leader) -- The Cosby Show

Pros: A stabilizing force. Not easily rattled. She's a lawyer and parent, so she'd be great at negotiation when things inevitably go wrong with other survivor groups. Would put people in their place, when necessary.

Cons: I can't picture her wielding a machete or carrying around an AK-47.

Hannibal Smith (second-in-command) -- The "A" Team

Pros: Smart and cunning. Wiley. Smokes cigars. Loves it when a plan comes together. Cons: Smokes cigars, prompting fears of nicotine withdrawal when civilization's ready supply of stogies are exhausted.

MacGyver -- MacGyver

Pros: Obvious, isn't it? My first pick, hands down. It's yours, too, or you're wrong. Able to create bombs out of toothpicks, an old alarm clock and a jar of out-of-date grape jelly.

Cons: Eschews violence in general, and guns in particular. I mean, eventually you're gonna have to kill someone, Mac.

Stringfellow Hawke -- Airwolf

Pros: He has a hideaway in the mountain and an attack helicopter. Plays the cello.

Cons: He'd try to sleep with all of the women. Eventually Airwolf would run out of fuel, missiles and bullets.

Dee Dee McCall -- Hunter Pros: No-nonsense. Great with a gun. Not afraid to use it.

Cons: Actually, I can't think of any.

Jesse Mach -- Street Hawk

Pros: Comes with an attack motorcycle that can reach speeds up to 300 MPH.

Cons: Just look at the guy. Think he's gonna back you in a fight? And, again, that bike's ammo and gas isn't gonna last forever.

Buford Pusser -- Walking Tall

Pros: Fearless. Extremely hard to kill. Carries around a big freaking stick. Hits people with it, almost indiscriminately.

Cons: Doesn't play well with others. I worry he'd go all Joe Arpaio on everyone.

Doogie Howser -- Doogie Howser, M.D.

Pros: He's a doctor. You really need a doctor.

Cons: He's a kid.

Considered, but just missed the cut:

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Pa Ingalls -- Little House on the Prairie

Maybe -- probably -- the toughest omission. The next best choice as our fearless leader. Has extensive experience living off the land. Is firm, but fair. Knows the Bible. Experience running a big family. Able to keep the peace. In the end, maybe that's why he's off the list. At some point, you're gonna have to go all pre-Alexandria Rick Grimes on someone. I don't know if Pa has it in him.

Mike Donovan -- V

Also a difficult omission. But his background is as a TV reporter -- as opposed to, say Hannibal, who was a U.S. Army special forces operative. I don't care how many lessons Donovan took from Peruvian freedom fighters. He's not a natural-born fighter.

B.A. Baracus -- The A Team

Every zombie apocalypse survivor group needs that one person who is more man than machine. B.A. fits the bill. But we need Hannibal and, without violating my one-character-per-show rule, the tough-guy role went to Buford Pusser.

Michael Knight -- Knight Rider

Any character played by The Hoff is disqualified on principle, though having KITT roam the dystopian countryside would have its benefits. Then again, who is gonna tinker with KITT's computer when it goes fuzzy? (Conveniently forgetting, of course, that Airwolf is going to have the same problem. But this is my list, and I freaking loved Airwolf, OK?)

Quincy -- Quincy, M.E.

Did you know the show never revealed his first name? (I only know because I looked it up.) He would have been a great choice, but he had a few strikes against him. He could be disagreeable; I'm not sure he'd get along with Claire Huxtable. And if you're gonna have a doctor -- again, you need one -- it's better to have a young one that's not gonna up and die on you. Better to think long-term. Then again, Quincy was a military veteran, so maybe that should have swayed him in favor of Doogie Howser? Now I'm having second-thoughts.

J.R. Ewing -- Dallas

Too much of a jerk. A natural leader, sure, but he would have invariably slept with Dee Dee MCall and then kicked her out of the compound, leading to him being mysteriously shot by an unknown assailant, leading to months and months of speculation about who did it.

Edna Garrett -- The Facts of Life

A good leadership candidate, but doesn't bring much to the table beyond nurturing young ladies through the perils of puberty.

Tom Magnum -- Magnum P.I.

Too soft. He was a bit of a whiner, if you'll recall. Plus, there are no country clubs in dystopia. (The Ferrari would have been cool, though.)

Inspector Sledge Hammer -- Sledge Hammer!

Good with a gun. Descendant of Genghis Khan. Is it too late to change the rules and add a ninth survivor?

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Ok, that's my list. What's yours? What about a different category? Say, fictional characters from 1990s period movies (think Anthony Hopkins in Howard's End)?

The floor is yours...