Appalachian Calvinism and the importance of honesty

Look, I’m not sure how often this gets read, but if it is at all we might as well be honest with each other, right?

Authenticity isn’t a core value on the interwebs, and while I don’t know how you feel about that, for me it’s disconcerting.

The way I see it, we’re in this together, you and I. We’ve created a little social compact here. I’m jotting these words down at 3:20 on a Saturday morning and you’re reading it.

So let’s be honest with each other. Build some trust. I’ll go first: as kids, we walked around barefoot. A lot.

Oh, yes, it’s true. I know cousins who married. People who paid more for their pickup than their doublewide.

Preachers with Elvis sideburns. People who say “warsh” instead of “wash.” Frog leg eaters. Those who think buying raffle tickets are sinful—it’s gambling, you understand—but who burn through a pack of Pall Malls a day.

I’m ashamed of none of it.

Yes, yes. Snicker if you must at these Appalachian idiosyncrasies. Point and whisper to a friend, if that’s the person you choose to be.

But if you understand nothing, know this: we don’t have the luxury of choice. We didn’t choose the mountains.

The mountains choose us.